The Power of Self Control

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the power of self controlHave you ever thought about the power of self control? Imagine the benefits you would have. People would follow your lead more often. You would be able to get your point across easier. You would enjoy being with others or being alone equally as well. You would wind up getting more of what you want and less of what you don’t want. Self control includes emotional control and often they are interchangeable.

Karyn Hall, PhD wrote over at PsychCentral about possible ways to increase your power of self control

The Power of Self Control

Understanding how to maximize self-control of your emotions and behavior can decrease some of the emotional pain that emotionally sensitive people experience.

Not acting on impulse and thinking through how your actions in the short-term will affect your long term goals will decreae the suffering that you experience.

The good news is that some of the most effective strategies are everyday actions that are only surprising in terms of their effectivenss.

Ways to Strengthen Self-Control

Slowing Your Breath: Slowing your breathing to four to six breaths per minute will activate the prefrontal cortex and increase heart rate variability which helps shift the brain and body from a state of stress to self-control. When you are in stress mode, you are not able to think as clearly.

Your brain is in automatic survival mode, the need to do just what works in the moment. This is helpful in true emergencies but keeps us from seeing the big picture, our long-term goals. When the brain turns off the stress alerts, you have more access to the plan-ful behavior.

Meditation: Meditation improves attention, focus, impulse control and self awareness. Initial results can be seen within three hours and significant improvements with eleven hours of practice. McGonigal (2011) says that over time the brains of meditators have more gray matter in the prefrontal cortex as well as brain regions that are related to self-awareness. Practicing meditation over time will build your ability to stay aware and manage your impulses. Practicing mindfulness will also work.

Many people stop meditating because they are “bad” at doing it. Their minds are skipping from topic to topic.  Even when your meditation practice seems distracted, you are practicing bringing your mind back to a focused goal and that makes a difference in your ability to focus and concentrate when you aren’t meditating.

Click here to read more about developing self-control 

The power of self control is one of your personal powers that can make you a superhero. OK maybe not a superhero but it can change your life forever. And there are some simple things you can do to help you develop your personal power and here is to your health and your power of self control

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Treatment For Borderline Personality Disorder

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treatment for borderline personality disorderIf people really want to get treatment for borderline personality disorder it would help by looking at it in a different way. And here is the way…100% of the 9 criteria for BPD are emotionally based and if those aspects are addressed or reversed BPD is no longer a problem. And there is a quick way mentioned later in this article.

However, most people identity with emotions as real and not within the control of the individual. And if they are not then any of these 9 criteria qualify you to get treatment for borderline personality disorder according to the American Psychiatric Association DSM-IV. The bible for diagnosing mental disease.

1. frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5

2. a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

3. identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

4. impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.

5. recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior

6. affective instability due to a marked re-activity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

7. chronic feelings of emptiness

8. inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)

9. transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms

Treatment For Borderline Personality Disorder

Kate Thieda wrote over at psychcentral

If you have a partner with borderline personality disorder (BPD), the phrase “walking on eggshells” likely defines your life. People with BPD struggle to regulate their emotions, even though the emotions they experience are the same as the rest of us.

During “frantic efforts to avoid abandonment,” your partner may constantly seek affection and approval as a way to prove to themselves that you love them and are not going to leave. You may receive multiple phone calls and texts throughout the day, or have to say something specific to your partner when leaving in order to reassure them that you will be back and are not mad at them. Your partner may also act needy so that you will feel that you cannot leave them alone.

The “intense and quickly changing moods” have probably taken you by surprise before, although partners of those with BPD often get skilled at noticing the warning signs that might go undetected by others. Your partner may be laughing with you one minute, but then get offended by something you say, and become angry and full of rage the next minute.

People with BPD take much longer to calm down from their emotions, once triggered, but—interestingly, yet frustratingly for those around them—quickly forget the emotion once they are calm again, and may wonder why you are still mad at them afterwards.

Like the mood swings, “difficulty controlling anger” can make having a partner with BPD a frightening experience. People with BPD often have problems with a lack of impulse control as well, which means anger can turn into violence. Although this is not true for all people with BPD, it does happen.

This is because the brain centers that control logical thinking are overpowered by the emotional centers. At that point, reasoning with the person is nearly impossible, and they may throw objects, punch walls, slam doors, or break windows.

If your partner has “chronic feelings of emptiness,” they may make comments about how no one cares about them, even though they have friends and family who care about them. They may also engage in risky behaviors, such as promiscuous sex, drugs and alcohol, or gambling, in order to attempt to “fill the void.” Other ways people with BPD to try to end feelings of emptiness is to change jobs frequently, shop for things they don’t need, and throw parties to prove they have worth.

Click here to read more about how BPD can effect a relationship.

Treatment for borderline personality disorder can be very simply when it is addressed from an everything is energy point of view. When we move from the concept of emotions being real and simple energy in motion it allows us to not get emotionally attached and when you are not emotionally attached any of the 9 symptoms listed above are no longer a problem.

And the nice thing about working from the everything is energy level, it doesn’t take that long to get results. Usually it can happen in one to three session and the tools are very easy to learn once you are no longer a slave to what used to be overpowering emotions are available. If you are interested contact us and we’ll see what we can do to help.

In the mean time share treatment for borderline personality disorder with your friends and family because most of us know someone who has a few of the nine symptoms listed above.

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Emotional Control In The Work Place

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emotional control in the work placeOne of the number one causes of poor executive performance and that of employees is emotional control in the work place. However, it is often overlooked.  And yet slowly but surely companies are beginning to see the value of having management and employees learn ways to improve their emotional intelligence, which is business speak for emotional control.

Claudette Portelli wrote over at di-ve.com

Emotional Control In The Work Place

Research by the Centre for Creative Leadership found that the primary causes of derailment in executives involve deficits in emotional competence, or the e-factor.

The three primary incompetencies are related to handling change, working in a team, and poor interpersonal relations. 

Mastering the art of interpersonal relationships seems to unravel the mystery of what separates those who are truly influential within organisations from those who are not. Vast research sustains that only through developing intra- and interpersonal intelligence, which his more technically termed emotional intelligence (EI), one can come to understand oneself and others and thereby gain insight into the motivators and drivers that affect one’s own behaviour and that of others.

In an economy characterised by continuous hurdles, the best way to keep a company motivated and to stimulate growth is to keep and incorporate emotional intelligence into one’s personal and organisational management philosophy. Thus, managers and business owners cannot lose sight of the fact that their employees are first and foremost people with real lives and emotions, and that wanting or not wanting, these influence how they think, feel and act, which inevitably influence their company’s accomplishments. 

Hence, those managers who want to be effective 21st century leaders cannot fail to acquire a deeper understanding of the concept of EI and apply it to their management strategies. In other words, to be successful in the workplace does not only require an elevated know-how of one’s business but also entails effective awareness, control and management of one’s own emotions, and those of other people with whom they come in contact

Here is more on Emotional Intelligence

What fascinates me that people have not come to the realization that if emotional control in the work place is a good thing, what about at home and in personal relationships? If the emotional intelligence of our businesses need improving what does it say about our schools, our homes and families?

If you are for emotional control in the work place or anywhere give us a shout out below and let others know about this emotionally balanced article.

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The Cancer Grudge

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Some people say that holding a grudge can cause cancer. That’s like saying water causes flooding. Not all water causes flooding only water that is out of control causes flooding. In the same way a grudge is simply emotional energy that is being held or blocked from flowing and any time emotional energy is prevented from flowing dis-ease including cancer can be a result or an indirect result of it.

It depends on how one defines what emotional energy is and how deep one is willing to look into the structure of how everything is made. From a Vibrational Energy point of view, everything is energy and the cause of any and all dis-ease and/or illness is a misalignment of the energy flow which creates constrictions and restrictions in the flow and balance of energy. When we look at everything from a vibrational energy perspective we see how this can be the case.

Dean Davis wrote a piece at xtend-life.com in it he wrote:

I’ve often heard some people say that ‘holding a grudge will give you cancer’. Personally, I don’t believe that withholding some resentment will directly determine whether or not you’ll get cancer.

However, these built-up feelings of anger and negativity may actually have a physiological effect on your health… and more often than not, it’s unlikely to be good for you. I must be honest I used to have a bad habit of holding grudges. In fact, I even held a grudge against the guy who used to bully me when I was just 8-years old!

Being bitter about bad experiences can be expected but to build up so much resentment for the people who caused them can take a toll on your health.

A good friend of mine recently took me aside and said that I should really ‘let it all go’ because I really should be focusing on the future and not dwell on the past. He also said that all the negative emotions I was feeling was holding me back from unleashing my true potential…from a business, personal and even physical level.

I agreed with him and decided to drop the ‘emotional baggage’ I was carrying and just get on with enjoying my life. It wasn’t easy at first but once I realized how my health and personality were being affected, I knew I just had to do it.

I’m already noticing improvements! The mental block I used to have when it came to business and even my golf game has started to erode quite rapidly. I no longer feel held back and instead of doubting myself…I now always back myself to achieve the goals I set out in front of me. Those emotional demons of the past were actually little mole-hills that I thought were mountains.

To read the full article go here…

http://www.xtend-life.com/Blog/11-09-20/Why_Holding_a_Grudge_Can_Ruin_Your_Health.aspx?id=452796

This article is also mentioned here:http://www.natural-holistic-health.com/why-holding-a-grudge-can-ruin-your-health/

While Dean got good advice at what he should do… i.e. “let it go”, “focus on the future and not dwell on the past”, no one ever showed him how to actually do this and he struggled and found it not easy and it took him unnecessary time and effort which cost him money and potential on the business, personal as well as physical level. If you want the freedom and benefits that Dean finally got and you want to get them quickly and thoroughly with speed and grace let’s discuss it so you can get results now.

Please show your care and compassion for others that are suffering by passing this on through the buttons below.

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